


Cornucopia

by rlin



Series: Linked Universe [8]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, Humor, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Not Beta Read, Wild don't press random buttons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rlin/pseuds/rlin
Summary: Wild, in a "What does this thing do" moment, presses a mysterious button on the Sheikah Slate.Hilarity ensues.
Series: Linked Universe [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063523
Comments: 7
Kudos: 134





	Cornucopia

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in less than one hour without any beta reading. Wish me luck.

There are some things that make your hair stand on end.

For Time, the memory of Dead Hand or his entire second adventure could do that. For Hyrule, it's talking about blood magic.

But this isn't about Time or Hyrule.

This is about Twilight.

Now, there are things that make Twilight feel dread, too. He felt unnerved when he collected each part of the Fused Shadow and the Mirror of Twilight.

He'd be reluctant to admit it, but he also felt that way when he first met Ooccoo.

But there was one thing, above all else, that made Twilight feel dread. Was it the Demon King, Ganondorf, armed with the Triforce of Power itself?

"Hey, I wonder what this button does!"

Twilight's blood turned to ice as he heard the tone in Wild's voice. He instinctually turned his head towards the cub just in time to see him press something on the Sheikah Slate.

He managed out, "WILD NO" before a geyser _erupted_ from the slate. The next thing he knew, he was buried under something.

Twilight pushed himself through whatever was covering him until he could see above again. His eyes were greeted by a most unusual sight.

The entire campsite was _buried_ under a sea of Wild's stuff. Not only was there produce like apples, bananas, and durians, but there was also a bunch of gemstones and—eww—monster organs.

Wild's head popped up in the middle of a bunch of truffles. "Oh. So that's what that does."

Twilight glared at Wild, trying to replicate Time's trademark disapproving look.

Said Old Man popped up in the middle of a pile of Hylian Rice. He shot his infamous glare at Twilight.

Okay, that was the _other_ thing Twilight feared the most.

"W-What? I didn't do anything?" Twi sputtered.

Time didn't speak, but his glare got his point across just as well. _Exactly. You didn't stop him from doing this._

Legend suddenly appeared, pulling off his Magic Cape. He evidently used it to phase through the produce. "Well, _that's_ a new one," he muttered sarcastically.

A fairy popped up from in between a couple of diamonds, who transformed into Hyrule in a flash. He lost his balance trying to stand on the gemstones and fell over.

Warriors popped up, dragging up Wind. Wind was swearing profusely, while Wars looked very annoyed.

Sky had been napping against a tree, and was now up to his neck in a blanket of radishes. He was still asleep.

Four's head poked through a sea of Bokoblin Horns. He was muttering something about kneecaps. Twilight decided he didn't want to know.

"Good," Time deadpanned. "Everyone's alive."

Twilight glared at Wild again. "Cub, _what did you do_?"

"Yeah, Wild," Wind said, "What _did_ you do? I thought we were being ambushed!"

Wild scratched the back of his head, clearly embarrassed. Good. He deserved it.

"Uh, there was a button on the Slate saying 'Release All.' I was curious, so I pressed it."

Twilight facepalmed.

"Wild, you made this mess, you clean it up." Time said, clearly done with all of this. "Also, the Pup gets to keep your slate for you for a week."

Cold comfort.

Wild sighed and started putting his stuff back in his slate.

Twilight and Warriors helped get Wind and Four out of the massive pile. Sky was a lost cause. There was no getting him out without waking him, and that risked rousing his legendary god-killing wrath.

"Wild, why do you have so much stuff, anyway?" Four asked. "Why do you have to have all these thousands of... ingredients?"

"Uh, I like to keep 999 of everything in my slate?"

"Why 999 of everything?"

"It's as much as I can fit in there."

Four facepalmed.

"Hey, Legend, looks like you have a competitor for your title of group hoarder," Wars shouted.

Legend rolled his eyes.

* * *

It was a couple weeks later when they ran into the shadow they were looking for again. Dark Link.

He was gloating and giving some grandiose speech when Wind nodded over to Wild. "Plan Cornucopia."

"Right," Wild said, with one of _those_ grins on his face. He took out his slate and pointed the screen in Dark Link's direction.

He was too absorbed in his own talking to notice.

Wild pressed _that_ button, and before Dark Link realized what was happening he was buried under the massive pile of Wild's stuff.

There was a brief moment of silence, that was broken by Time muttering something about wanting a paycheck from the goddesses.

Seven heads swiveled over at Wild. "You _weaponized_ that thing?"

He shrugged. "Hey, it works!" He unsheathed his sword. "That shadow isn't going to defeat himself, you know."


End file.
